By Allan Povah
Enterprise bargaining agreements have stalled between Bunnings and the Far North Queensland Hardware Workers Union. The FNQHWU are seeking a ten percent pay hike and a reduction to the number of sausage sizzles allowed through the summer months.
The main sticking point, according to FNQHWU spokesman Stanley Briggs, is the re-designation of the catchphrase “lowest prices are just the beginning…” from slogan to policy.
“As soon as those jokers from Hawthorn bought it in as company policy it sent us into a spin,” said Briggs. “I mean how can we comply with it? It’s no sort of policy. It makes no fucking sense. The troops are completely confused. We think it places all kind of undefined expectations on us and we deserve to be compensated.”
Assistant manager of Bunnings Smithfield, Pat Doomadgee, refused to comment on the wage talks, but reassured patrons that the sausage sizzles would continue on weekends and public holidays. “We are pleased with the massive reaction to the introduction of cheese kranskis,” she said.