Mexican delegation arrives: crocs for jaguars exchange imminent

By Murray Murchison

A Mexican delegation has arrived in Cairns to participate in bi-lateral talks with local dignitaries. The meetings are hoped to sooth some of the tensions between Mexico and Far North Queensland, and remove obstacles to trade and wildlife exchanges.

The delegation is headed by the mayor of Durango, Hilario Ramírez Villanueva (above). In his homeland, he is better known as ‘violador des ballenas’, which loosely translates as ‘whale-fucker’. ‘Big’ Tom Gilmore, mayor of Mareeba, met Senor Villanueva during a state visit to Mexico last year. “Me and whale-fucker are great mates,” said Mr Gilmore. “We really got on it in Puerto Vallarta and ended up at an armadillo restaurant sucking down sangria and chimichangas. He’s probably best described as a fiscal and social conservative but he’s got some fucking strange ideas about sugar cane and lethal animals.”

The two men have brokered a deal involving a swap of jaguars for crocodiles in what is believed to be a world first. “The guys up at Hartley’s Crocodile Adventures are really keen to offload some of their salties and introduce some different animals,” explained Gilmore. “And the Mexicans have a pretty strong animal fighting culture and they think that our crocs might do quite well.”

Animal rights groups have been supportive of the plan, given the travel and career opportunities that will be opened up for the crocs and jaguars.

Talks begin tomorrow at the Reef Casino and are expected to extend over the weekend.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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