By Murray Murchison
Dear Plain Dealer Readers
I’m writing to you in response to mounting criticism that I and the TBPD have received over the judging of our recent limerick competition. As many of you will know, the prize was awarded to my son, Mitchell, who subsequently traded it to me in return for an iPad mini and a second-hard copy of ‘The Witcher 3’ for his PlayStation.
The depth of ill-will and abuse I have received over this has been breathtaking, particularly on social media. Even those from the literary community chose to direct some extremely hurtful comments my way.
However, I recognize that my role as Editor requires me to present an unimpeachability not required in most professions. For this reason I, and the editorial team, have decided to rerun the competition in a slightly different format, which will be sponsored by Mission Foods, BHP and Hillsong Church. Unfortunately, the original prize will not be available, but will instead be a weekend for two at the Cool Breezes Caravan Park and a slab of Great Northern. There will be no second prize.
Entrants will be required to write a haiku containing the words ‘croc’ (or ‘crocodile’) and ‘taco’. We have enlisted the services of Cooper Cronk as judge. Although Mr Cronk will make his judgement based on his own artistic criteria, he is known to favour the traditional 5-7-5 format with themes of spirit, air and scrums. Send entries on twitter to @TB_Plain_Dealer. Entries close on 31 March 2017. The Plain Dealer reserves the right not to award a prize should entries fail to meet Mr Cronk’s exacting sensibilities. I undertake that Mitchell and myself will not enter the competition, but my daughter Melanie may have a crack.
This letter is not an admission of any nepotism associated with the original decision. All entries were de-identified, and it was my opinion that Mitchell’s was the superior entry. I considered my own limerick to be the third best and therefore declined to award myself a prize.
I am sorry that is has taken me this long to respond to my many detractors. It has taken me a while for me to sort out my plumbing since my trip to Central America. I appeal to all the twitter trolls to look for another target for their bile (I’m talking to you @ksorbs @karlstefanovic @lcoote @dishhead).
Murray Murchison, Editor in Chief, Trinity Beach Plain Dealer