Smithfield skeptic backflips on claims that basketball does not exist

By Kimberley Schloss

As the Cairns Taipans arrive in Perth for their make-or-break playoff game with the Wildcats, an online comment by Jonas Humberstone (above), president of the Smithfield Atheist and Sceptic Association (SASA) has landed him in a mire of controversy. And it is not the first time.

Mr Humberstone, 29, a draftsman, stated in a since deleted Facebook post that he rejected the claim that basketball exists. This has caused an uproar from fans of the game.

“He’s just a hater,” said Owen Priestly, 44, of Holloways Beach. “We love our Taipans. They’re as real as the Cowboys.”

“What, is he saying that Steph Curry is all CGI?” asked Kiara Munsch, 17, of Woree. “That LeBron is a puppet? The guy is clearly fucked in the head.”

The Plain Dealer finally managed to contact Mr Humberstone who spoke from his apartment on Lake Street.

“It’s all a misunderstanding, a typo” he said. “Obviously I don’t believe basketball doesn’t exist. I’m pretty skeptical, but that would be crazy. I was just having a bit of a rant about how that turgid seppo bullshit is so fucking boring until the last ten seconds. My claim was that the rest of it shouldn’t objectively be allowed to exist. I think that’s a pretty defensible position. I’d had a couple of Pinot Grigios and fucked up the post a bit. I deleted it right away.”

Mr Humberstone has previously angered both sports fans and Christians with some of his views. In July last year, when players in the ‘Bouncing Baptists Club’ attributed their surprise victory in the ‘FNQ B-Ball Invitational’ to the power of prayer, Humberstone declared a Twitter war on them. This included posts that called into question the priorities of the Almighty for ignoring amputees in favor of His interest in basketball.  In addition, Humberstone asserted a complete rejection of the ‘Kalam Basketological Argument’.

Having lost the first playoff game, the Taipans need to win in the west tomorrow night.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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