Skippy Huegill to back-channel on behalf of Trump

By Allan Povah from Pyongyang

Former Ambassador to North Korea, Sir Skippy Huegill, has been rushed to Seoul to meet with US and Chinese officials to nut out a plan for dealing with the threat of North Korea’s nuclear ambitions.

Previously, during his time in Pyongyang, Huegill had developed a close relationship with maverick North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un and it is thought that he may be the key to negotiating a scaling back of the nuclear threat.

Sir Skippy, who was knighted in 2014 for his services to Butterfly, made the time to meet with me to discuss the delicate situation. Although he still looks in supreme physical shape, his eyes betrayed a harrowed and strained demeanor.

“It’s tough,” he told me over a latte in one of Seoul’s many coffee shops. “I got to know Kimbo when we played trivia together in the embassy at Pyongyang. We’re pretty good mates, and a great team. Now Trump wants me to betray the little fella, cosy up to him and take as many selfies as possible. And apparently I’ve got to teach him how to backstroke.”

Huegill wouldn’t be drawn on what offering was being made from the US to entice Kim Jong Un to abandon his nuclear ambition, but an unnamed White-House source has hinted that it involved a “sackful of cash, fifty kilos of frosty, some unmarried Filipino ladies and the services of an expert hair-stylist.”

Our conversation had barely begun when Skippy was whisked away by some muscled be-suited gentlemen and bundled into a black limousine. He looked at me apologetically as he disappeared behind the tinted glass.

A great Australian has been tasked with preventing Armageddon. We couldn’t be prouder. We couldn’t be in better hands.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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