Gator cop talks to croc cop

By Paolo Zupp

Gus LeCras, a member of the crack Bayou Gator Response Team in Louisiana has today paid a visit to the Northern Beaches Bureau of the North Queensland Crocodile Commission in Holloways Beach.

Officer LeCras, who is holidaying in Cairns, decided to drop in to meet some of his counterparts and he quickly found he was amongst friends.

“He wasn’t a bad bloke for a seppo,” explained Senior Detective Julian Ritchard, acting Executive Secretary of the Crocodile Commission. “He had some great stories about hurricanes and people getting horribly mauled by gators. Really funny stuff. The thing is, a vic will often survive a dance with a gator, but with a salty they’re history.  The gator is a bit of a pussy of a crocodiliac actually. And Katrina was no match for Larry either.”

Senior Detective Ritchard explained some of the differences in procedures between the two reptile units. “Gus was amazed that we never cuff our crocodiliacs when we pick them up for loitering or murder. Over there, the gators have to be properly Mirandized (pictured above) and offered representation. Here, we just shoot the fuckers.”

Officer LeCras, who is staying with Red Robbins at Trinity Beach, will be visiting the reef and Daintree this week. He then plans to fly to Thailand where he hopes to meet his third wife.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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