Let’s twist again, like we did last summer!

By Kimberley Schloss

Gilligans Resort and Spa have announced that resident Twister-in-the-Buff athletes, Ginger Grant, MaryAnne Summers and Wentworth ‘Lovey’ Howell (left to right above) will be participating in some exhibition matches at the venue over the next fortnight.

Earlier in the year, the three Americans won the extremely technical triples division in the Rotary Gilligan’s Invitational, which is effectively the Wimbledon of Twister-B.

“We didn’t think we had a chance at all,” explained Lovey, who lists her role-models as Chubby Checker, Helen Hunt and Princess Margaret. “Those darn Russians are so supple. But somehow, the three of us meshed and everyone just came together.”

In the gruelling three-hour final against the Yemeni champions, MaryAnne Summers performed an extremely difficult back half solto right foot on green-4 to left hand on yellow-7 causing the Yemeni Quarterback to collapse onto her Tight End. This  gave the Americans an unassailable lead in the match, and the Yemenis duly dressed themselves and conceded.

Following the victory, many pundits predicted that the unorthodox style exhibited by the Americans would propel them into the top echelons of the sport. But it was not to be.

Ginger explains: “We somehow got ourselves stuck in the carefree, tropical life at Gilligans. We wanted to leave, but through various wacky misadventures, incompetence and lack of imagination we are still here. Good times!”

Commissar at Gilligans, Captain Alan Hale Jr, has been pleased to host the girls during their extended stay. “As you’d expect, we get a lot of shiftless, device-obsessed, lazy fuckers though here,” he said. “But those three girls have been a delight. They always ready with a smile and a joke. Can’t wait to see them in action again in the Gilligarena. I’ll be sitting near red seven. Giddy-up.”

Matches have been arranged on the next two Friday and Saturday nights against teams from Japan, Canada and Iran. Tickets are available at the door or at www.twisterinthebuff.com.au. Photography not permitted.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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