July 2017 Classifieds

Looking For Love I’m an ENTP stockbroker guy, 35, who likes self-analysis, rr and shaming. Looking for a 25-32 ISTJ woman, self-assured and super-hot, for infatuation, contentment, confusion, boredom, resentment and estrangement. @jmbojones Hufflepuff landscape gardener, muscly (but a bit stringy), looking for outdoorsy Ravenclaw woman to commune with nature and make magic. Rambling, trekking, kayaking,Continue reading “July 2017 Classifieds”

The Ringo is dead. Long live the Digger.

By Murray Murchison. In a press-conference today, Val Shier announced to a hushed crowd of journalists that First Dog, Ringo, had passed away during the night. Shier had returned from Mexico to resume her duties as Prime Minister mere hours before Ringo succumbed to complications associated with mange. Even amongst that hard-bitten group of veteranContinue reading “The Ringo is dead. Long live the Digger.”

Tate Award goes to the Wolf-knee

By Destiny Givens Reports have emerged from Cowboys House of a lavish gala function that followed the team’s win against the deplorable Warriors on Saturday night. The exclusive soiree, held in the main ballroom of the CowHouse, was to present the annual Tate Award, for the best player afield in the North-Queensland v Auckland match. Sources haveContinue reading “Tate Award goes to the Wolf-knee”

A conversation with Lisbeth Trickett

Part of the Conversations Series, with Shirley Higgins-Croft Dame Lisbeth Trickett is the popular Minister for Defence and Animal Affairs. She was kind enough to spend an afternoon with me at Lunico’s Restaurant at Trinity Beach. SHC: Dame Trickett, thanks for agreeing to talk. Let’s start with the hot-button issue. Where do you stand onContinue reading “A conversation with Lisbeth Trickett”

Our Japanese heritage in the smallest room

Part of the Reflections Series, by Murray Murchison There is a strong tradition of Japanese culture on Cairns area and tablelands, stretching back to the hardy pearl divers of the 1830s, who travelled from the land of the rising sun to seek their fortune beneath our tropical waters. Later, cane-cutters, honeymooners, blithers and sushi-chefs came toContinue reading “Our Japanese heritage in the smallest room”

Mystery surrounds the First Dog’s condition

By Heather Luck Reports have emerged that First Dog, Ringo, may be suffering some kind of undisclosed health issue  The popular bow-wow has not been available for public appearances over the last two months. He has missed such high profile events as the Charters Towers Japanese Opera month and the Ravenshoe Jumps Racing carnival, atContinue reading “Mystery surrounds the First Dog’s condition”

Arrests made: Flock finally finished?

By Allan Povah Three youths (pictured above in the Machans divvy van) have been arrested by police in connection with a spate of incidents over the Cairns area over the last few months. The young men, who can’t be named as they are under-age, are expected to be charged with various criminal offences, including breakingContinue reading “Arrests made: Flock finally finished?”

Arse or Elbow: you be the judge

The Trinity Beach Plain Dealer’s biennial Arse or Elbow competition is now open. Every two years, a member of the Plain Dealer team takes a photograph (above) of themselves in the privacy of the editorial offices and then it is up to the entrants to try to guess whether the photo is of an arse or an elbow.Continue reading “Arse or Elbow: you be the judge”

One million dollar reward posted for kidnapped dog

By Allan Povah. The Departmental Commissioner for Dog Catching and Cat Herding, Desmond Bowe, announced at a press conference today that the commission is seeking the public’s help with locating a Labrador-cross that has been the victim of a suspected dognap. The dog’s owner, who wishes to remain anonymous, has offered a one million dollar reward forContinue reading “One million dollar reward posted for kidnapped dog”