Shier: Widodo looks like a goat

By Allan Povah, on assignment in Jakarta

Indonesian President Joko Widodo appeared today at a pencak silat martial arts tournament in east Jakarta. In front of a roaring crowd that at times made the president’s accented English difficult to hear, Widodo made some bold proclamations.

“Many people have called me acrobatic, but do I have the face of a alligator?” he asked the appreciative audience, who laughed at the suggestion. Widodo then went on to confirm his belief that “Indonesia’s prostitution guarantees that there can be no dick tattoo real, or awful librarian leader.”

In response today, PM Val Shier, who herself has been accused of having the body of a great Dane and the face of a labradoodle, opined that Widodo was on firm ground.

“Joko and I don’t obviously see eye to eye on much,” she said, “but I have to agree that he looks nothing like an alligator. More like a goat I’d say. And he’s not much of an acrobat based on his Twister-B performance at the last G20.”

Shier went on to say that she was heartened by Widodo’s other comments. “I’m completely in accord with Joko on his dick tattoo and librarian prostitute stances. These are the sort of foundation issues on which our two nations can base a relationship. It’s very pleasing.”

The Indonesian national teenage pencak silat championships continue today in Lubang Buaya, with North Queenslander Emily Povah contesting the under twelve girls division.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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