Ruckus at Country Fair

The St Monica’s Peace Window letting in the sun

By Kimberley Schloss

Police were called yesterday to break up an ugly confrontation at the annual St Monica’s Country Fair.

The trouble began when parents tried to eject members of free-love advocacy group, the Freshwater Swingers, from the event.

St Monica’s principal, Sr Aloysius, confirmed that an information booth and had been allocated to the Swingers and positioned between the cent sale and the beer tent. She added that that event organisers had no idea that the group’s philosophy was “somewhat different” from that of the school, which generally promoted “unfree missionary love within the bounds of holy matrimony.”

“When the booking was made, we were under the impression that they were a trapeze troupe of some kind,” explained the CFO of the Country Fair, Mrs Sharon Struthers. “We love the circus-arts at St Monnies. We had no idea that they’d be handing out condoms and playing Only the Good Die Young at high volume. It interested the girls rather much and upset a lot of parents.”

Mrs Struthers, whose daughter Virginia is in year 12 at St Monica’s, described the interlopers as “uppity” and “intellectually dishonest.”

“I would most certainly pray for any no-hoper musician who came sniffing around Ginny,” she claimed. “And our beautiful peace window certainly does let in the sun.”

Cairns Police have confirmed that they attended the event in response to a triple-O call, but by the time they arrived, the Swingers had agreed to shift the needle to We didn’t Start the Fire. No arrests were made.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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