Pigeon shits on desk

By Heather Luck

A disgruntled former employee of the Cowboys organisation has let loose with in tell-all interview about the goings on at Cowboys House.

Ms Helena Cherry, 44, of Wulguru, was formerly a cleaner at the sprawling establishment, and was entrusted with cleaning the bedrooms and offices of the playing group before and after away matches.

“They’re nice boys on the whole,” said Ms Cherry to Dazza and Hinki on Croc FM’s morning show. “Very polite, even after a loss. But I have to say that they are messy fuckers. Mr Lowe’s office was the worst. It reeked of paprika and ink and there was always pigeon shit on the desk.”

In addition to her comments on hygiene, Ms Cherry has claimed that the CowHouse is “a revolving door for bikies and transvestites” and that there was “not a single bible to be found. Scandalous.”

When contacted, Mr Bob Bliss, concierge at Cowboys House, denied the allegations. “We’ve removed all the revolving doors from the premises,” he explained. “Kane Linnet couldn’t get the hang of them and kept missing training. And whilst it’s true we’re down a few bibles since the Polar Bear left, there’s always a red-letter version available in the Aquarium.”

Mr Bliss also claimed that Ms Cherry had been released from her duties as a result of some “irregularities involving hospital corners.”

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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