Sir Paul to play the Tanks

By Kimberley Schloss Ex-Beatle and celebrity vegetarian, Sir Paul McCartney, has agreed to play two intimate concerts at the Tank Arts Centre at Edge Hill in December. McCartney has been an outspoken critic of the plan to turn the Tanks into a venue for grain and water storage and has kindly offered his services toContinue reading “Sir Paul to play the Tanks”

Reward offered for excrement offender

By Allan Povah The DDCCH are offering a reward of 500,000 pesos for information that leads to the arrest of a canine wanted for several shitting offences across Cairns and the northern beaches over the last few weeks. The animal, pictured above, answers to the name “Monty” and was last seen on 2 November defecatingContinue reading “Reward offered for excrement offender”

Grey Lagoon commences filming at Trinity Beach

By Shirley Higgins-Croft Trinity Beach locals have been playing spot-the-superstar as a cavalcade of celebrities flood intro the small community for the commencement of filming of Alby Mangels latest cinematic masterpiece, Grey Lagoon. After some delays, production has finally commenced on the multi-million dollar blockbuster, a remake of the 1980s classic, Blue Lagoon, which originallyContinue reading “Grey Lagoon commences filming at Trinity Beach”

Sorbo blockbuster hits screens

By Shirley Higgins-Croft Kevin Sorbo’s new cinematic blockbuster, Let there be light, has hit Far North Queensland servers, and is causing quite a stir among the faithful, and the faithful-friendly. Whilst the film is unlikely to be shown by the Event Cinemas monopoly in the region, Sorbo fans have pooled resources to ensure no oneContinue reading “Sorbo blockbuster hits screens”

L’Unicos apologises for blackboard art

By Paolo Zupp Management at the popular Trinity Beach eatery, L’Unicos, has formally apologised for blackboard art that appeared outside the establishment last week. The six-word artistic statement (above) has offended the vocal and influential feminist organisation, Vasey Remedial Bitches (VRB), who have claimed that the message is an unambiguous slur on the group andContinue reading “L’Unicos apologises for blackboard art”

FSP takes lead in polls, Trout delighted

By Allan Povah With a bare fortnight until North Queensland votes for a new Federal government, a Galaxy poll has indicated that the Fish and Sheep Party have taken a strong lead. The numbers indicate that the FSP are likely to take government and sweep Prime Minister Val Shier from power. FSP member for Cairns,Continue reading “FSP takes lead in polls, Trout delighted”