March 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love Yellow fever sufferer looking for Filipina nurse type for rickshaw outings and GFE. Would consider matrimony. @gotitbad4yellow Wanted All ugbos, ferals, crusties and weird fuckers in the Kuranda area. Wanna be famous like Susan Boyle or Paul Taylor? Contact @uglykuranda for a obligation free assessment. For Sale For Sale: Epson 2530 MultifunctionContinue reading “March 2018 Classifieds”

Amira wins choc sculpturing comp again

Amira Malik, the 26 year old hijabi from Atherton, has won the Mareeba Chocolate Sculpting competition for the second year running. Ms Malik, who is now professor of Chocolate Studies at the Malanda TAFE, sculpted the winning entry “Benedict Stares” (above) which impressed the judges with its attention to detail and creative use of off-the-shelfContinue reading “Amira wins choc sculpturing comp again”

A conversation with Bluey PupPup

Part of the Conversations Series, with Shirley Higgins-Croft Sir Bluey PupPup (above left) is a dog that wears many collars. He is best known as the North Queensland Cowboys mascot, but his responsibilities extend far beyond faffing around the sideline. He is a critical part of the finely-tuned machine that has dominated the Queensland RugbyContinue reading “A conversation with Bluey PupPup”

L’Unicos apologises for ATOMS slur

By Paolo Zupp L’Unicos management have apologised profusely for an alleged snub arising from blackboard artwork (above) that was displayed outside the Trinity Beach restaurant yesterday. The slogan, intentionally or otherwise, clearly impugns the honesty of members of the Atherton Tablelands Organisation for Meteor Survivors (ATOMS). Ms Michelle Yeo, ATOMS Vice-President, Arms and Shoulders division,Continue reading “L’Unicos apologises for ATOMS slur”

Boomtime for North Queensland

The North Queensland government is croc-a-hoop with new figures that show economic growth is faster than Australia and all of the G7 nations. The annualised and seasonally adjusted GDP growth figures to January 2018 for North Queensland are 3.99%, well above Australia (2.3%) and the US (1.9%). “Sales of crocodile skins have been brisk andContinue reading “Boomtime for North Queensland”

Study shows sugar is good for you!

By Allan Povah A new William Bligh University study has shown that the consumption of sugar can have several positive effects, especially in the short term. In an interview with the Plain Dealer, author of the study, Dr Kellyanne Brody from the College of Healthcare Services, explained the scope and implications of the findings. “WeContinue reading “Study shows sugar is good for you!”

Is there room at the Cowhouse for Carney?

By Destiny Givens NRL bad boy, Todd Carney, seems likely to sign a new contract with the Cowboys, after four years in Rugby League wilderness. The highly skilled ball distributor and keen geocacher could provide useful cover in the halves for an ageing Thurston and an inexperienced Te Maire Martin. Coach Paul Green has indicatedContinue reading “Is there room at the Cowhouse for Carney?”

Tate scotches rumours over shooting

By Destiny Givens STORY SPONSORED BY BetTOLGA Brent Tate has reacted to rumours that he was shot by Ben Hampton using an AR-15 during a game of Fox and Hounds at a Cowboys training session last week. During a press conference in the Rose Garden of the CowHouse, Tate (above) was clearly clearly amused byContinue reading “Tate scotches rumours over shooting”

Let there be Light wins big at the Steves

By Shirley Higgins-Croft It was a night for the obliteratii and the shiterati in Cairns last night for the presentation of the fifth annual North Queensland Academy Awards, sponsored by the Reef Casino and Beacon Lighting. The awards were presented in front of a celebrity studded audience of B- and C-listers The gripping badguy-atheist-finds-God-gets-saved drama,Continue reading “Let there be Light wins big at the Steves”

Grey Lagoon is a wrap

By Shirley Higgins-Croft After a series of delays and setbacks, the filming of the cinematic blockbuster Grey Lagoon has completed, with the project moving into post-production at the Judy Blue Eyes Movieworld studios in Murray Bridge, South Australia. At a press conference in Palm Cove today, director Alby Mangels (above) was sanguine about the sequenceContinue reading “Grey Lagoon is a wrap”