Grey Lagoon is a wrap

By Shirley Higgins-Croft

After a series of delays and setbacks, the filming of the cinematic blockbuster Grey Lagoon has completed, with the project moving into post-production at the Judy Blue Eyes Movieworld studios in Murray Bridge, South Australia.

At a press conference in Palm Cove today, director Alby Mangels (above) was sanguine about the sequence of misfortunes that resulted in a budget blowout of a reported $100 million Fijian dollars.

“First it was the local blithers, constantly blundering onto the set,” explained Mangels. “One ruined take after another. Then Mel got bitten by a snake or something and it really upset him. Mel’s got a real thing about snakes. And, obviously the whole #metoo thing came along at the wrong time for us. We had a lot of NDAs and polygraphs and other legal bullshit to deal with. I had to put my fixer on danger money. On top of everything it turns out that Justin is only a double threat.”

Even as the production neared completion, a giant sinkhole mysteriously opened up on the Trinity Beach esplanade, impeding access to the crocodile aquarium and jaguar enclosure.

Despite the setbacks, Mangels claims that backers are very happy with what they’ve seen in the rushes and that a sequel, tentatively titled Grey Lagoon: Unleashed, may be in the offing.

“Bachhus and Cordo loved what they’ve seen. Especially the french-cricket scenes,” Mangels said. “So GLU might be a goer. Judy’s on board. And I know Mel is as keen as whiskey to reprise his role, though it’ll all have to be in flashbacks. Mel’s great at flashbacks.”

The press conference was marred by an ugly disturbance when local identity, Red Robbins, pushed past security and reportedly demanded payment from Mangels of a debt over alleged landscaping services. After a scuffle, Robbins was eventually restrained by two large Samoan gentlemen and removed from the venue.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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