Let there be Light wins big at the Steves

By Shirley Higgins-Croft

It was a night for the obliteratii and the shiterati in Cairns last night for the presentation of the fifth annual North Queensland Academy Awards, sponsored by the Reef Casino and Beacon Lighting. The awards were presented in front of a celebrity studded audience of B- and C-listers

The gripping badguy-atheist-finds-God-gets-saved drama, Let there be light, was the big winner on the night, taking away three Steves, including Best Picture. This was despite the cinematic masterpiece not receiving a general release at Event Cinemas, even Earlville.

Kevin Sorbo’s incredible range as an actor was rewarded with both the Underacting and the Overacting awards for his role as Dr. Sol Harkens.

This year, the Steves were hosted by Samantha Armytage, who was at her faux dimwitted best. But the night was stolen by Vanessa O’Hanlon, winner of the Best Television Weather Ramble Steve.

Despite being in what seemed like a hyperventalative state, Ms O’Hanlon asked all the females in the audience to stand, and implored them to “find their inner derecho” and to “demand a tidal waiver.” She concluded by holding her Steve statuette aloft and shouted “Fuck you Livio!” She was met with rapturous applause.

Following a performance by Ms Armytage of her own tone poem “Henrietta’s Affair”, the Gay Men’s Choir of Whitfield closed the evening with a rousing rendition of Baba O’Reilly.

Full list of awards:

  • Best Underactor in a leading role: Kevin Sorbo (Let there be Light);
  • Best Overactor in a leading role: Kevin Sorbo (Let there be Light);
  • Best Original Script: Brent Tate and Jordan Silk (The Little Pony 2);
  • Best Script Adaptation: Alex Papps (Picking Up Shit, from the novelette by Greg Hunt);
  • Best Short Film (Fiction): The Divine Banana (Jonas Humberstone, producer);
  • Best Short Film (Documentary): Digger at Large (Bluey PupPup, producer);
  • Best Star Wars movie: The Last Jedi (Robyn Fenty, producer);
  • Best Costume Design: Ivanka Trump (World Safari 5);
  • Best Score: The Little Pony 2, Composer, CL.
  • Best Television Nudity: Livin’ the double life;
  • Best Television News Outtro: Lincoln Humphries;
  • Best Television Weather Ramble: Vanessa O’Hanlon;
  • Best Supporting Actor in a Non-Speaking Role (film): Gal Godot (Wonder Woman);
  • Best Supporting Actor in a Non-Speaking Role (Television): Coen Hess (The Man in the High Castle)
  • Best Mexican Film: Soy lindo pero mi mierda es apestoso. (Guillermo Del Toro, producer)
  • Reef Casino Award for Best Director: Aaron Sorkin (Molly’s Game);
  • Beacon Award for Best Picture: Let there be Light (Sean Hannity, producer).

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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