By Destiny Givens
NRL bad boy, Todd Carney, seems likely to sign a new contract with the Cowboys, after four years in Rugby League wilderness.
The highly skilled ball distributor and keen geocacher could provide useful cover in the halves for an ageing Thurston and an inexperienced Te Maire Martin.
Coach Paul Green has indicated that “there would have to be a lot of water to go under the bridge” before Carney was considered. “We take each player on his or her merits,” explained Green. “If Todd is up to the challenge, and he can do a job for us, he’ll be considered for a jersey, just like any other Dally-M winning wannabe.”
Chef de Mission at Cowboys House, Bob Bliss, is already in preparations for the imminent naming of the latest Rugby League Immortal.
“We’re already in a bit of a tizz over the announcement,” explained Bliss from the CowHouse office. “We’ll have to make a suite available for the immortal fucker if he’s still alive. I hope its not Provan. He’s a bit of a prick.”
When asked about the possible arrival of another problematic NRL superstar tenant, Bliss was philosophical.
“Well, if Carney wants to move in we’ll have to check the chlorine supplies and develop a new policy on watersports and hydration. Long overdue actually,” he said. “We’re currently short on rooms so we might have to give the Polar Bear the heave-ho. He’ll have to store his bibles somewhere else. And I’d guess that our resident ink-man, Orthros, will need to open up his studio on the mezzanine level one extra day a week.”
The Cowboys play the thuggish, cheating Sharks in the first game of the season, a game that will see JT become the most capped Cowboy.