L’Unicos apologises for ATOMS slur

By Paolo Zupp

L’Unicos management have apologised profusely for an alleged snub arising from blackboard artwork (above) that was displayed outside the Trinity Beach restaurant yesterday.

The slogan, intentionally or otherwise, clearly impugns the honesty of members of the Atherton Tablelands Organisation for Meteor Survivors (ATOMS).

Ms Michelle Yeo, ATOMS Vice-President, Arms and Shoulders division, spoke to the Plain Dealer from her holiday bunker in Tolga.

“Members of our organisation already face considerable challenges in their personal lives,” explained Ms Yeo. “When you’ve been struck by a meteor, even if you don’t realise it at the time, every outdoor activity becomes darkened by fear and paranoia. On top of that, our membership faces overt bigotry from so-called scientists. The last thing we need is a slap-down from the culinary community. From now on, I’ll be getting my pizzas from Mel’s at Coastwatchers.”

Recently reinstated blackboard artist, Jimmy “Chub” Locke, also apologised for the gaffe. “I was aiming at a smaller target; that’s is the microscopic rather than astronomic,” he explained. I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone, especially any kiddies. To be honest, I’ve been really distracted by a bunch of Russian tourists playing Josef/Stalin in the Belle Vue pool. It was incessant and quite autocratic.”

L’Unicos management have undertaken to remove the artwork as soon as possible, subject to locating the required cleaning equipment. At the very latest, it will be removed by Wednesday afternoon when management’s stepdaughter is planning a trip to the Smithfield Centre for a Subway melt.

It is not known if the region’s peak industry body, the Cairns Blackboard Artists Association (CBAA), will formally censure Mr Locke and Lunicos.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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