March 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love

Yellow fever sufferer looking for Filipina nurse type for rickshaw outings and GFE. Would consider matrimony. @gotitbad4yellow


All ugbos, ferals, crusties and weird fuckers in the Kuranda area. Wanna be famous like Susan Boyle or Paul Taylor? Contact @uglykuranda for a obligation free assessment.

For Sale

For Sale: Epson 2530 Multifunction Printer. Currently printing all stripey. Youtube diagnosis is that the printer head is fucked. Tried isopropyl fix – no good. Just bought ink. $100 ono. @campuscomputers

For auction: Various props from the Grey Lagoon production. Includes Mel’s stash and Bieber’s hair spray. To be held at the Smithfield Cultural Centre 9am 7 April. Cash only.

Original handwritten lyrics to U R The Best Thing. $9 or will swap for groceries. @tyronefelan


Cairns Regional Council is requesting tenders for Barbeque and dogshit management services on the Machans, Holloways, Yorkies, Trinity and Kewarra Esplanades. Must have own tools. We are an unequal opportunity employer. Visit our site for a proforma:

From Me to You

To the owner of the premises on which the Lemon Tree Resuarant used to operate in Trinity Beach, any objection to me and a few mates setting up on the deck for some cold ones of an afternoon? Will clean up, promise. @dave_poppolo

Personal Services

Looking for a plaster cast artist to pretty-up a right forearm half cast. Currently plain plaster white. Looking for something like a moko or hieroglyphics. @tyson_powell

Classifieds are published monthly. Maximum 50 words. Email to

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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