April 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love

Japanese lady new in town, looking for gentlemen to take me up the range and down the gorge. Smooth back please. Send photo and financials to @Kiko_dcup

Wanted

Wanted: Taipan catcher wanted for sunflower de-snaking. Prefer single man, tall and fit. No bogans. @shelly_freshwater.

Wanted: Experienced cricket player with solid forward defence wanted to play the understudy for non-speaking role of opening batsman at dance production. Must have a big nose. @finlayson

For Sale

Coral Sands Unit for sale. Prefer silent bidding atheist with no spiritual or juju-style tendencies. Cheap. tom@publictrustee.qld.gov.au.

For sale: locked and slightly sandy second-hand mobile phone for sale. Might be an iPhone 8 or possibly a 10. Some pre-entered contacts and photos included. No charger. $50 ono @metalDetectorKing

Original handwritten lyrics to U R The Best Thing. $7 or will swap for groceries. @tyronefelan

Announcements

Hot ticket from BetTolga: Good odds on Chairman Kim giving up the nukes. Put a pineapple on JT playing InTrust Cup for the Blackhawks. Exotics: Ricki-Lee to get engaged to Ricky Ponting by 2020, Shane Warne to have nude backstroke match race with Shane Gould. Gamble Responsibly.

From Me to You

To the jokers who have bought the cane fields outside Macalister’s brewery. Don’t fuck up the view! @tradieluvsbrewz

Personal Services

Hairdresser (lately of MKR) doing great styles at TB. Don’t believe what Manu says, I’m a great cook and a fantastic stylist. @volcano_dd

Classifieds are published monthly. Maximum 50 words. Email to tbpd@iinetnet.au

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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