May 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love

Proficient railroad tycoon with great hygiene looking for partner in theme park design or civilisation building. Maybe more. Would consider cross-platform interfacing. @gas_sufferer


Wanted: Croc strangling implement like on YouTube. Slip knot must be able to handle 3 metre salty. Will pay for lessons. @crocfiend

For Sale

Yamaha Guitar for sale. No strings and a bit dusty. Paid $40 in 1978. Will take $20 or swap for an X-Box controller. @gas_sufferer

Original handwritten lyrics to U R The Best Thing. $7.50 or will swap for groceries. @tyronefelan


Fans of the Swedish version of ‘The Bridge’ and other ScandiNoir stuff; I’m setting up a fan club based out of the Edge Hill Bowls Club. We’ll be meeting the first Tuesday of the month at 7pm. Wear a Sarah Lund knit. @luvSarah.

From Me to You

To all the Gumtree tyre-kickers. You know who you are. I’m sick of your musings on the chat. Harden up and make a commitment or shut the fuck up. @nedly_goodison

Personal Services

I need a buddy to help me out post Snippy Wu. Must have trolley jack and trailer. Mattress preferred. If you have a garage with a TV and a block and tackle, that’d be awesome. @jocko_tolga

Classifieds are published monthly. Maximum 50 words. Email to

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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