July 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love

To my sweet love, make yourself known. You know who you are. I have been waiting so long for you. I’ve taken a bath. @robbie_bloom

Wanted

Wanted: Effective representation (Saul or similar) for plea bargain. Will swap for silk tie (stripes) in return for a slap over the wrist or ankle bracelet. @perp_walk_in_style

Want to see the world from 30,000 feet? If you are an attractive, preferably chinese, young woman, petite and not assertive, who has experience in pedicures, food service and/or the Cape Town treaty, get in touch. @NX.

For Sale

For sale: slightly tatty (probably) counterfeit Guernica (unframed). A great conversation piece for cocktail parties in the parlour or ANTIFA headquarters. $650 ono. @pablo_tequila

Original handwritten lyrics to U R The Best Thing. Slightly clammy. $4.50 or will swap for Happy Meal. @tyronefelan

Announcements

Looking for skeptical types with a cut-out pass and/or oranges to join Donkeys touch team. “If you’ve got a jink, send us a wink! But if you are a botherer, look for anotherer” @humberstone

From Me to You

Want to download the CF speedbumps into your GPS for rat-run purposes? Visit cairns.ratrun.com and follow the prompts.

Personal Services

Fellas: Sack, back and crack specials all August at The Wax Room, Manunda. We are specialists at arse mullets! 07 4032 5888

Classifieds are published monthly. Maximum 50 words. Email to tbpd@iinetnet.au

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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