Unexpected Situations at the Vatican

By Kimberley Schloss

The compelling UltraTune ‘Unexpected Situations‘ series is continuing, this time starring Mel Gibson (pictured above with Monsignor Dell’Acqua) and with Aaron Sorkin at the helm.

Despite being initially named as director, Bruce Beresford, who has won four daytime Emmy awards for his work on the series, has handed the tiller to Sorkin, explaining that he couldn’t add any new ideas to the franchise.

“I’ve gone as far as I can go with the cleavage and bouncing boobies and Aaron is a great artist,” said Beresford from his rancho in San Cristobal de Las Casas. “I can’t wait to see what he comes up with.”

The first new installment will shortly commence filming in the Vatican City. Beresford was excited by the move. “It’s a bold idea and I’m sure Sorkin take the art to new, more talky places”, he said. “I’m expecting the defloration and body mechanic negotiation scenes to be rivetting.”

Flouncing franchise femme fatales, Tiffanee, Jorja, Marinah and Khloe, have not been cast due to virginity issues. Their places will be taken by novitiates from Casa per Ferie Santa Lucia Filippini. JaRule plays The Moor of Venice and Warwick Capper plays El Capitano.

It is known that Gibson has strong views on religion and does not recognise the authority of the pontiff, but he is understood to have put aside those issues. Beresford expressed confidence that there would be no issue.

“Look, Mel’s a professional,” he said. “He’s a man of faith, but he’ll share a chalice with anyone. Just as long as they are not Jewish.”

Sorkin was approached for comment on this story but was at temple.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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