December 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love Editor: No love to be found this month. Must be Christmas and raining. Wanted I need a regular lift from TB to the Red Hat on Thursdays for the raffle and nipple. I been catching the SunBus but I’m blackballed due to reasons I’d rather not discuss. If anyone can help, I’llContinue reading “December 2018 Classifieds”

Karl snarls in terse verse

By Shirley Higgins-Croft The Yorkeys Knob offices of Tropical Talent today released a press statement on behalf of their client, celebrity pantsman Karl Stefanovic. Stefanovic has been in the gossip and sports pages lately, with two high-profile marriage-breakups, a liaison with Princess Meghan and an ill-fated stint as high-performance social coach at the Mackay Cutters.Continue reading “Karl snarls in terse verse”

KarMeg leg into Keg, then gone-ski in Sikorsky

By Shirley Higgins-Croft Australian celebrity gentleman, Karl Stefanovic, has again been seen canoodling with American-British princess, Meghan Markle, this time at the Reuben Hills Cafe in Sydney. According to an unnamed but swarthy barista, the couple indulged in twin Irish venti mocha decaf frappuccinos and declined the offer of complimentary Lotus biscoffs. The barista confirmedContinue reading “KarMeg leg into Keg, then gone-ski in Sikorsky”

Boney Corporation acquires Plain Dealer

Multinational media behemoth, Boney Corporation, has acquired the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer for an undisclosed sum. As a result, the Plain Dealer joins a venerable group of publications in the Boney stable, including the Sydney Morning Herald, L’Equipe and the Innisfail Sentinel. Editor in chief, Murray Murchison was enthusiastic about the development and was clearlyContinue reading “Boney Corporation acquires Plain Dealer”

BTS win big at Soompis

By Shirley Higgins-Croft K-Pop supergroup, BTS, have won big at the Soompi 작은 똥 awards, taking home 6 gongs, including Best Choreography and Outstanding Achievement in Hair. The Bangtan Boys were humble in receiving their awards, and acknowledged the influence of CL, BIGBANG and Blayden on their artistic direction in 2018. Lead dancer, Park Jimin,Continue reading “BTS win big at Soompis”

Mexico wins at robots in Shanghai

By Allan Povah. Mexican teams dominated the primary school category of the World Educational Robotics (WER) contest held in Shanghai, China, last weekend, taking the top three spots. The winning team, competing under the name Warriors, was made up of sixth-grade students Ricardo Gael González Zamudio, Rafael Lua Oliver and Mariana Torrija Arturo and mentoredContinue reading “Mexico wins at robots in Shanghai”

Rihanna takes out portrait competition

By Murray Murchison. The winner of the prestigious annual Plain Dealer portrait competition, which required budding artists to produce an artistic impression of celebrity singer Guy Sebastian, has been announced. The winner is Miss Rihanna Zieger, 7, of Holloways Beach who painted Guy the fuzzy guy (above – crayon on canvas). The judging panel wereContinue reading “Rihanna takes out portrait competition”

Tenco wins sanitation contract

By Murray Murchison In a press release today, the Cairns Regional Council announced that it has awarded the lucrative chambers re-sanitation contract to Taiwanese chaebol, Tenco. This has been received as a controversial decision as, historically, the council has exclusively used suppliers from Japan – generally regarded as the industry leader in faecal collection systemsContinue reading “Tenco wins sanitation contract”