Doberman challenges ‘world champion’ Patriots

By Destiny Givens

Quarterback for the Trinity Beach Dobermen, Cobey Callahan, has been vocal in his criticism that the winners of a recent Gridiron match in Atlanta, the New England Patriots (above), have been called called “world champions”.

Callahan also described the style of football played by the Patriots as “pedestrian”, “soft” and has laid down a challenge to the Patriots to “come down under for a flogging.”

“If you want to claim to be world champions, you need to beat some teams outside your own country,” shouted Callahan whilst operating a leaf-blower at the Paradise Palms Resort. “It’s all very well for Belichick to out-coach the Rams on the silky smooth Atlanta turf, but it’d be a completely different story if his boys had to manage the stray wallaby threat on our patch. I’d also like to see Brady try to chuck a wallabyskin that’s caked in wallaby shit while getting dry-humped by a wallaby.”

Callahan envisaged a worldwide competition that would bring together the disparate leagues, conferences and competitions around the globe.

“Ideally you’d have some kind of North-Queensland conference, preferably with a repechage arrangement so everyone can have a crack,” he said. “Winners would play the other giants of the region, like Yemen and Tuvalu. Then there’s be intercontinental playoffs until it’s just the best teams competing for the biggest prize.

The Dobermen recently won the WallabyBowl at Centenary Park by beating bitter rivals the Freshwater Freshies in triple overtime. Their next match is on Friday evening against the Cow Bay Calves at Wangetti.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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