April 2019 Classifieds

Looking For Love Shortish man, swarthy but not too much, looking for tall coffee-coloured woman for breeding. Profits 50/50. Please email your pedigree and recent photo (pref nude) to andy_pants@gmail.com. Wanted Anyone has had some kind of stroke or car accident or syphilis or other tragedy …please don’t worry. If you have a BTS ticket,Continue reading “April 2019 Classifieds”

Verne classic to be remastered

By Destiny Givens. Jules Verne fans are abuzz today, with the news that a remake of Around the World in Eighty Days has been green-lit by North Queensland streaming service, Buffer. Executive Producer, Deborah Mailman, has said that the production will be inspired by the whimsical Australian cartoon series (above) from the 1970s, rather thanContinue reading “Verne classic to be remastered”

Jacinda Trudeau wins top gong at Cardwell

By Destiny Givens. It was a record-breaking crowd in Cardwell to see King Digger award the Best All-Around award at the Miss Doggie pageant to Jacinda Trudeau Diggory Balzac III (above). Jacinda is believed to be the first cat-identifying animal to win a Tier-One championship in world dogging. Zhe has long been nipping at theContinue reading “Jacinda Trudeau wins top gong at Cardwell”

‘Shannon Noll’ Released

By Destiny Givens. Shannon Noll has been languishing in a Kunming jail since mid 2018 after a well-meaning but ultimately ill-fated escapade with Ben Lee in the Spratly Islands. The prison term has come at a very bad time for Noll, following a breakout performance at the Duck Creek Picnic Races last July. Fans haveContinue reading “‘Shannon Noll’ Released”

Vintage Wine Sells at Auction

By Kimberley Schloss. A vintage wine has gone under the hammer at the Quaid Auctioneers in Lake Street and fetched a record price of 4 million Rupiah. The auction catalogue noted that the collectable 1996 Merlot was made from fruit sourced from hardy vines of the eastern Barossa and carefully and sustainably picked by theContinue reading “Vintage Wine Sells at Auction”

Big Terry cast in For Whom the Bell Tolls

By Kimberley Schloss. The Big news for movie fans is that Big Terry (above) has been cast in the leading role of Robert Jordan in the remake of For Whom the Bell Tolls, to be directed by Baz Luhrmann. The film will be co-produced by Screen North Queensland, Bazmark Inc, Quely and Summer Bay Productions.Continue reading “Big Terry cast in For Whom the Bell Tolls”

Auction fracas leads to arrests

By Allan Povah. It has been a tough time for realtors in Far North Queensland, with a spate of scams and the stench of almond tree pervading the industry and tarnishing what was previously a shabby reputation. Matters got even worse today when, during an auction in Edge Hill (house pictured above – photograph courtesyContinue reading “Auction fracas leads to arrests”