WBU Announces departmental shake-up

By Kimberley Schloss.

The William Bligh University (above) has announced wide-ranging changes to several faculties in the areas of social science, politics and feline studies. A new Faculty of Intellectual Honesty and Guffism will be created and will subsume the existing departments of Whataboutism, Gender studies, Guff, Intersectional Studies and Cat Maintenance.

The changes have met with some resistance from Vice Chancellor Christopher, who wished to place more of an emphasis on Machine Learning, Neural Networking and Chicken Products. According to insiders, Christopher has repeatedly placed overt pressure on curriculum designers and the most basic level, and several have allegedly been relieved of their positrons.

The inaugural Dean of the new faculty, Professor Kellyanne Brody has emphasised that the Vice Chancellor position is ceremonial only, and that the he has no role in setting any aspect of the curriculum for the University.

“We’ve provided him with hexadecimal copies of the writings of Gertude Stein, Emily Bronte, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Jack Bee Garland and audio of the Indigo Girls. But, the Vice-Chancellor is still unable to acknowledge the importance of gender issues, gaslighting and intersectional studies to the human spirit, let alone the human mind,” Professor Brody said tersely. It’s not all about the Hetero-normative ID and sitting in the rumble-seat of a luxury Amarok.”

The new course offerings will be available from the beginning of the 2020 academic year and are expected to be very well subscribed.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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