By Allan Povah
Police have announced today that the Almond Tree killer investigation has been officially designated as a ‘cold-case’. This means that the investigation will now be handled by the Cold Case Investigation Team (CCIT), which consist of senior police, who have been coaxed from retirement with promises of bakery items to cast a new light on previous, possibly incompetent, investigations.
Detective Inspector Paulette Denning of the CCIT, who boasts a distinguished career as Head Cop in Mount Surprise, has been appointed lead investigator on the case. She is being ably assisted by Detective Senior Sergeant Grant Willoughby, who is ideally suited to an arboreal investigation, given his highly celebrated role in cracking the Floriade gnome kidnap case in 2018.
Denning has urged members of the public to come forward if they have any information pertaining to the torture and murder of the Trinity Beach Almond Trees. The investigative team have set up a centre of operations at the Eat Street Cafe and Bar at Trinity Park and can be found there most weekdays. In addition, Detective Senior Sergeant Willoughby will be available on Thursday afternoons at the Red Beret Hotel for any onymous tips and tits.