Digger in limbo over Major incident

By Shelly Higgins-Croft

First Dog of North Queensland, Digger, is in hiding after his flight has had to be diverted to Busan following an undiplomatic incident in Washington DC. Digger was enroute on a state visit to the United States, and had meetings scheduled with First Dog Major and Senate Majority Leader McConnell’s schnauzer, Turtle.

Plans were thrown into disarray after a formidable pile of dogshit was found on the carpet in the Oval Office in Washington DC. Following a Secret Service investigation, the blame was quickly affixed to Major (picture above left) who has been removed to an undisclosed location to undergo retraining. Champ (above right) has taken over his duties.

The Major incident has raised some grave concerns for the Foreign Affairs department. Digger is known as an enthusiastic and random shitter, which last year occasioned a complete restyling of BrickHouse decor in wall-to-wall brown Axminster. A high-level source within the Foreign Affairs Department told the Plain Dealer that a small indiscretion by the First Dog in Washington could have huge ramifications on the bilateral relationship between NQ and the US, and added that “the plucky puppy would not do well in Gitmo.”

Prime Minister Val Shier has acted quickly and directed the specially outfitted de Havilland DHC-6, Soz-Dog One, to reposition to Korea pending further negotiations between the advance team and Washington officials.

It is reported that Digger’s security detail are taking no chances with his safety given the culture of Gaejang-guk in the country. For this reason, the First Dog has been secreted to a doghouse somewhere near Goyang where there is known to be a large cat population.

Published by murraymurchison

Editor in Chief at the Trinity Beach Plain Dealer

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