Second Truth Day is truly truthy

By Murray Murchison. The Plain Dealer has maintained our uncompromising pursuit of fake truthiness by staging a second Truth Day at the Reef Casino. As was the case for the inaugural installment one year ago, the event was a bald-faced success (under the Chatham House rule). The guests, which included Eric Murray and Nicole Kidman,Continue reading “Second Truth Day is truly truthy”

November 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love Any Asian woman in Cooktown or Cow Bay areas. Wanna talk about conceptual art and shrieking? I’ll be playing gigs up there this weekend and would be keen to meet up. Or you can hang around and annoy the boys and we can go for cake. Contact me @winston Wanted Experienced hardwareContinue reading “November 2018 Classifieds”

Cowboys fail to resolve teamwork issues: Tate allegedly shot by players

By Destiny Givens Following a string of five losses, a clinical coaching performance by Paul Green initially halted the Cowboys’ slump with a rousing and mistake-strewn win against the drug-addled Titans. It has been reported that Green had sequestered the entire Cowboys playing group in the CowHouse for some intense work-shopping following the loss toContinue reading “Cowboys fail to resolve teamwork issues: Tate allegedly shot by players”

Tate scotches rumours over shooting

By Destiny Givens STORY SPONSORED BY BetTOLGA Brent Tate has reacted to rumours that he was shot by Ben Hampton using an AR-15 during a game of Fox and Hounds at a Cowboys training session last week. During a press conference in the Rose Garden of the CowHouse, Tate (above) was clearly clearly amused byContinue reading “Tate scotches rumours over shooting”

Let there be Light wins big at the Steves

By Shirley Higgins-Croft It was a night for the obliteratii and the shiterati in Cairns last night for the presentation of the fifth annual North Queensland Academy Awards, sponsored by the Reef Casino and Beacon Lighting. The awards were presented in front of a celebrity studded audience of B- and C-listers The gripping badguy-atheist-finds-God-gets-saved drama,Continue reading “Let there be Light wins big at the Steves”

Tate Award goes to the Wolf-knee

By Destiny Givens Reports have emerged from Cowboys House of a lavish gala function that followed the team’s win against the deplorable Warriors on Saturday night. The exclusive soiree, held in the main ballroom of the CowHouse, was to present the annual Tate Award, for the best player afield in the North-Queensland v Auckland match. Sources haveContinue reading “Tate Award goes to the Wolf-knee”

Beyoncé wins second prize in Brent Tate portrait competition

By Shirley Higgins-Croft The results of the Plain Dealer portrait competition have been announced in a ceremony today at L’Unico convention centre. The competition, open to kids ten years and under, attracted more than seventy  thousand entries from 56 countries. Their brief was to produce a portrait of NRL legend, Brent Tate, whose story of pain,Continue reading “Beyoncé wins second prize in Brent Tate portrait competition”

Cowboys rocked by Scandal

By Destiny Givens Emotions have been running high at Cowboys House following a limp performance against the deplorable Eels last weekend. At full-time, Coach Green circled the wagons around the team and refused to allow support staff and media representatives to attend the traditional post-match victory sausage sizzle and dance-rave at the CowHouse. As theContinue reading “Cowboys rocked by Scandal”

Cowboys prepare to go back-to-back!

By Destiny Givens With one sleep to go until the season launch, the Cowboys backroom staff have everything under control in preparation for the opening match against the Canberra Raiders. “We’re looking at going back-to-back in twenty-seventeen^”, enthused Chef de Mission at 1300SMILES Stadium, Bob Bliss (above). “The whole team has been working hard forContinue reading “Cowboys prepare to go back-to-back!”