Digger crowned ‘King of Dogs’

By Allan Povah. The first dog, Digger Digmore Barkington-Smythe has been crowned King Of Dogs by the Cairns Pets association. He has been granted ‘freedom of the CowHouse’ and rewarded with a pallet of schmackos, tastefully baked by Ethan Lowe. King Digger has undergone some snout-lightening and fur coloration since his image last graced theContinue reading “Digger crowned ‘King of Dogs’”

Boomtime for North Queensland

The North Queensland government is croc-a-hoop with new figures that show economic growth is faster than Australia and all of the G7 nations. The annualised and seasonally adjusted GDP growth figures to January 2018 for North Queensland are 3.99%, well above Australia (2.3%) and the US (1.9%). “Sales of crocodile skins have been brisk andContinue reading “Boomtime for North Queensland”

“I am not Yemeni”: Shier

By Allan Povah Prime Minister, Val Shier, tabled documents in Parliament yesterday proving that her Yemeni citizenship became invalidated well before her election in 2013. The certified documents from the Yemeni Home Office in Sana’a confirm that Ms Shier lived in Yemen between 1972 and 1977 and attended the École française d’Aden, studying French Literature,Continue reading ““I am not Yemeni”: Shier”

Adiós y buena suerte, señor Skip!

By Murray Murchison A BrickHouse spokesman today confirmed the worst kept secret in the country, that Sir Geoff “Skippy” Huegill has been appointed as North Queensland’s ambassador to Mexico, taking over from the Honorable Wendell Sailor. Following some Spanish and mariachi lessons, Sir Skippy will be taking residence at the embassy in Colonia Polanco fromContinue reading “Adiós y buena suerte, señor Skip!”

The Ringo is dead. Long live the Digger.

By Murray Murchison. In a press-conference today, Val Shier announced to a hushed crowd of journalists that First Dog, Ringo, had passed away during the night. Shier had returned from Mexico to resume her duties as Prime Minister mere hours before Ringo succumbed to complications associated with mange. Even amongst that hard-bitten group of veteranContinue reading “The Ringo is dead. Long live the Digger.”

Mystery surrounds the First Dog’s condition

By Heather Luck Reports have emerged that First Dog, Ringo, may be suffering some kind of undisclosed health issue  The popular bow-wow has not been available for public appearances over the last two months. He has missed such high profile events as the Charters Towers Japanese Opera month and the Ravenshoe Jumps Racing carnival, atContinue reading “Mystery surrounds the First Dog’s condition”

Sources: Jaguar attacks Ringo

By Murray Murchison There are grave concerns within the intelligence community that the recent wildlife exchange between the Mexico and North Queensland governments could lead to significant security concerns. The so-called CrocJag Initiative was intended to promote bipartisan trade and wildlife agreements, but instead may have exposed the inner workings of the NQ government toContinue reading “Sources: Jaguar attacks Ringo”

Shier awarded Congressional Medal of Honor

By Murray Murchison North Queensland Prime Minister, Val Shier, has flown to Washington for a state visit with US President Donald Trump Ms Shier has taken time out from filming ‘Soy Lindo Pero Mi Mierda Es Apestoso‘ in Mexico City, in which her body and personality is being used for 4D imprinting of the main character, Prudenciana elContinue reading “Shier awarded Congressional Medal of Honor”

Val Shier to play chihuahua in Mexican blockbuster

By Murray Murchison At  a press conference this morning at the Brickhouse, it was announced that PM Val Shier, was on her way to Mexico for pre-production in the upcoming Mexican cinema blockbuster ‘Soy lindo pero mi mierda es apestoso.’ Shier’s likeness is to be used in modelling the diminutive hero Prudenciana el Chihuahua (above). The highlyContinue reading “Val Shier to play chihuahua in Mexican blockbuster”

PM recalls ambassador to North Korea

By Murray Murchison Prime Minister Val Shier has made her strongest condemnation yet against the increasingly disturbing nuclear threat posed by North Korea. The tinpot, madcap, creepy little nation has long been a very good friend of North Queensland, but their recent technical advances in missile capability have cooled relations markedly. The North Korean KN-14Continue reading “PM recalls ambassador to North Korea”