Payten cleans house

By Kimberley Schloss. In a feature article in this week’s edition of Paris Match, Cowboys head coach Todd Payten described his initial days in residence at Cowboys House. During this time he offloaded Josh McGuire and Esan Marsters and let loose his high-performance team, who “ripped through the premises with a pallet of Easy-Off BAMContinue reading “Payten cleans house”

Snippy Wu to open in Tolga

By Kimberley Schloss A Dr Snippy Wu medical clinic will shortly open in Tolga, and will provide a much needed service to the township. Dr Helios Wu, founder of the eponymous medical conglomerate has said that the “trouser multinational” has long targeted the Tablelands as a potentially lucrative market-place. “One must plant the seed, waterContinue reading “Snippy Wu to open in Tolga”

Gilmore plan: Jihadists to camp at Tinaroo

By Murray Murchison Following crushing defeats in Iraq and Syria, global jihadists are casting their eyes south in search of a new base. ‘Big’ Tom Gilmore, mayor of Mareeba, has announced an ambitious plan to bring the group to the Tablelands which, he says, will occasion an economic boom for the region. “It would beContinue reading “Gilmore plan: Jihadists to camp at Tinaroo”

January 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love Diminutive Cowboys tragic looking for cutish Broncos babe for walks in the moonlight, angry sex and Hunt knock-on recreations. @cowrider Wanted Wanted: Superstar Cafe branded milkshake tin. Must not have been used for potplants or cricket box. Name your price. @anwarsmith For Sale For sale: wooden easel. Nearly new, but slightly paintContinue reading “January 2018 Classifieds”

Police bungle: Lowe tackled at the CowHouse, caught in possession.

By Heather Luck Star Cowboys forward, Ethan Lowe (above), has made light of his false arrest by Townsville police that led to him being held for six hours in the drug-tank of the Walker St watch-house this morning. Police allege that Lowe was arrested at 2am in the grounds of Cowboys House during a routineContinue reading “Police bungle: Lowe tackled at the CowHouse, caught in possession.”