February 2019 Classifieds

Looking For Love Hopelessly romantic, cuddly soon-to-be professional knife-thrower looking for brave woman with small head and big hair for target practice and chill. Maybe more. @william_tell_in_black_jeans Wanted Needed: Partner in pyramid chicken plucking scheme. It’s a job no one wants which makes it the perfect scalable opportunity. You benefit from other people’s plucking. GoldmineContinue reading “February 2019 Classifieds”

January 2019 Classifieds

Looking For Love Darling, those beach-almonds has got me thinking. About the first time that we fell. You didn’t inspire the smell too much, you inspired the smell too well. Andrea, please come to your senses and call me. Todd. Wanted I need donations of Riyobi products for collection completion and saving kiddies in Africa.Continue reading “January 2019 Classifieds”

December 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love Editor: No love to be found this month. Must be Christmas and raining. Wanted I need a regular lift from TB to the Red Hat on Thursdays for the raffle and nipple. I been catching the SunBus but I’m blackballed due to reasons I’d rather not discuss. If anyone can help, I’llContinue reading “December 2018 Classifieds”

November 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love Any Asian woman in Cooktown or Cow Bay areas. Wanna talk about conceptual art and shrieking? I’ll be playing gigs up there this weekend and would be keen to meet up. Or you can hang around and annoy the boys and we can go for cake. Contact me @winston Wanted Experienced hardwareContinue reading “November 2018 Classifieds”

October 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love Dear Mexican chef in the purple dress and with the arresting isthmus. I want to taste your Chiapas and nuzzle your Monterrey and your Durango. I will range below you like Guatemala as support as we seek la culminación together. Save me some leftover pib. @isthmus_fever_damo Wanted Wanted: Chalice, the more ornateContinue reading “October 2018 Classifieds”

September 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love I’m heading in the right direction for your loving and affection. Call me, Punchy! Wanted Wanted: some kind of solution to the ant problem in my apartment in Clifton Beach. I’m at my wit’s end. I’ve tried talcum powder and Mr Sheen. Those little fuckers can’t be negotiated with. I’m not violent.Continue reading “September 2018 Classifieds”

August 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love Robbie. You know me already , so no need for the making myself known bullshit. You owe me $125 and a Coles giftcard. No, you’re not getting the ping pong table. @seriouslywhat Wanted Wanted: Peach airlines stewardess outfit (size 16 or above) for roleplay of beverage service and mile-high simulations. @flygirl_trudy ChineseContinue reading “August 2018 Classifieds”

July 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love To my sweet love, make yourself known. You know who you are. I have been waiting so long for you. I’ve taken a bath. @robbie_bloom Wanted Wanted: Effective representation (Saul or similar) for plea bargain. Will swap for silk tie (stripes) in return for a slap over the wrist or ankle bracelet.Continue reading “July 2018 Classifieds”

June 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love Tall man, mid-thirties with labrador, looking for petite poodle-owning (pref Asian or Swedish) woman for partnership in life and labradoodle start-up. Must be bitch. @aaron_preneur. Wanted Wanted: Silk tie, pref paisley, for court appearance. @perp_walk_in_style For Sale Original handwritten lyrics to U R The Best Thing. $6.20 or will swap for chips.Continue reading “June 2018 Classifieds”

May 2018 Classifieds

Looking For Love Proficient railroad tycoon with great hygiene looking for partner in theme park design or civilisation building. Maybe more. Would consider cross-platform interfacing. @gas_sufferer Wanted Wanted: Croc strangling implement like on YouTube. Slip knot must be able to handle 3 metre salty. Will pay for lessons. @crocfiend For Sale Yamaha Guitar for sale.Continue reading “May 2018 Classifieds”