Payten rescues missing boys

By Kimberley Schloss It is the end of another shithouse season at the Cowboys, with the team falling to 15th position after a series of defeats that piled embarrassment on top of incompetence. And with the team falling short of most of the targeted KPIs, it is likely that an executive suite at the CowHouseContinue reading “Payten rescues missing boys”

Payten cleans house

By Kimberley Schloss. In a feature article in this week’s edition of Paris Match, Cowboys head coach Todd Payten described his initial days in residence at Cowboys House. During this time he offloaded Josh McGuire and Esan Marsters and let loose his high-performance team, who “ripped through the premises with a pallet of Easy-Off BAMContinue reading “Payten cleans house”

Digger crowned ‘King of Dogs’

By Allan Povah. The first dog, Digger Digmore Barkington-Smythe has been crowned King Of Dogs by the Cairns Pets association. He has been granted ‘freedom of the CowHouse’ and rewarded with a pallet of schmackos, tastefully baked by Ethan Lowe. King Digger has undergone some snout-lightening and fur coloration since his image last graced theContinue reading “Digger crowned ‘King of Dogs’”

Cowboys fail to resolve teamwork issues: Tate allegedly shot by players

By Destiny Givens Following a string of five losses, a clinical coaching performance by Paul Green initially halted the Cowboys’ slump with a rousing and mistake-strewn win against the drug-addled Titans. It has been reported that Green had sequestered the entire Cowboys playing group in the CowHouse for some intense work-shopping following the loss toContinue reading “Cowboys fail to resolve teamwork issues: Tate allegedly shot by players”

A conversation with Bluey PupPup

Part of the Conversations Series, with Shirley Higgins-Croft Sir Bluey PupPup (above left) is a dog that wears many collars. He is best known as the North Queensland Cowboys mascot, but his responsibilities extend far beyond faffing around the sideline. He is a critical part of the finely-tuned machine that has dominated the Queensland RugbyContinue reading “A conversation with Bluey PupPup”

Is there room at the Cowhouse for Carney?

By Destiny Givens NRL bad boy, Todd Carney, seems likely to sign a new contract with the Cowboys, after four years in Rugby League wilderness. The highly skilled ball distributor and keen geocacher could provide useful cover in the halves for an ageing Thurston and an inexperienced Te Maire Martin. Coach Paul Green has indicatedContinue reading “Is there room at the Cowhouse for Carney?”

Tate scotches rumours over shooting

By Destiny Givens STORY SPONSORED BY BetTOLGA Brent Tate has reacted to rumours that he was shot by Ben Hampton using an AR-15 during a game of Fox and Hounds at a Cowboys training session last week. During a press conference in the Rose Garden of the CowHouse, Tate (above) was clearly clearly amused byContinue reading “Tate scotches rumours over shooting”

Pigeon shits on desk

By Heather Luck A disgruntled former employee of the Cowboys organisation has let loose with in tell-all interview about the goings on at Cowboys House. Ms Helena Cherry, 44, of Wulguru, was formerly a cleaner at the sprawling establishment, and was entrusted with cleaning the bedrooms and offices of the playing group before and afterContinue reading “Pigeon shits on desk”

An afternoon with Ethan Lowe

Part of the Conversations Series, with Shirley Higgins-Croft Ethan Lowe is the much-loved and often under-rated Cowboys back-rower with a heart of gold and a skin full of tatts. He kindly allowed me to spend a couple of hours with him at Cowboys House and the results were surprising, and quite revealing. SHC: Ethan, thanksContinue reading “An afternoon with Ethan Lowe”

Tate Award goes to the Wolf-knee

By Destiny Givens Reports have emerged from Cowboys House of a lavish gala function that followed the team’s win against the deplorable Warriors on Saturday night. The exclusive soiree, held in the main ballroom of the CowHouse, was to present the annual Tate Award, for the best player afield in the North-Queensland v Auckland match. Sources haveContinue reading “Tate Award goes to the Wolf-knee”