And the winner is Arse!

By Murray Murchison. Amber Stillwell of Kanimbla has taken out the Plain Dealer’s biennial arse or elbow competition by correctly guessing the subject of the picture. Congratulations Ms Stillwell! Over 3.4 million entries were received and around 3.35 million of those guessed ‘Arse’ as the answer. Turns out the Plain Dealer readers are pretty deftContinue reading “And the winner is Arse!”

Arse or Elbow competition opens!

It’s that time again. The Trinity Beach Plain Dealer’s biennial Arse or Elbow competition is now open. One of the Plain Dealer’s editorial team takes a photograph (above) of themselves in the privacy of the lunch-room. It is your job to guess whether the photo is of an arse or an elbow. This time, our modelContinue reading “Arse or Elbow competition opens!”

Can Skippy be the peacemaker?

By Allan Povah Rumours are rife in Washington, Pyongyang and Townsville that special envoy, Sir Skippy Huegill, may be involved in brokering the meeting between US President Donald J Trump and North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. Huegill, who speaks moderately accurate Korean, had developed a relationship with Kim whilst serving as North Queensland Ambassador.Continue reading “Can Skippy be the peacemaker?”

Locals flock to Guam to watch the show

By Heather Luck North Queenslanders are escaping the bitter Cairns winter in droves to visit the tiny nation of Guam, the US territory in Micronesia. The Guam/Cairns route was a money-spinner in the 1990 and 2000s, with Air Micronesia, a subsidiary of Continental Airlines, flying twice-daily services. Following the GFC and the attendant weakness inContinue reading “Locals flock to Guam to watch the show”

Shier awarded Congressional Medal of Honor

By Murray Murchison North Queensland Prime Minister, Val Shier, has flown to Washington for a state visit with US President Donald Trump Ms Shier has taken time out from filming ‘Soy Lindo Pero Mi Mierda Es Apestoso‘ in Mexico City, in which her body and personality is being used for 4D imprinting of the main character, Prudenciana elContinue reading “Shier awarded Congressional Medal of Honor”

Skippy Huegill to back-channel on behalf of Trump

By Allan Povah from Pyongyang Former Ambassador to North Korea, Sir Skippy Huegill, has been rushed to Seoul to meet with US and Chinese officials to nut out a plan for dealing with the threat of North Korea’s nuclear ambitions. Previously, during his time in Pyongyang, Huegill had developed a close relationship with maverick North KoreanContinue reading “Skippy Huegill to back-channel on behalf of Trump”

Ben Lee avoids the wacky stuff

By Shirley Higgins-Croft Sir Ben Lee is cock-a-hoop over the release of his brand new album ‘Songs about Islam for the whole family’. The indie rocker has come a long way from his folk-rock roots, such as “We’re all in this together” and Claire Danes. Sir Ben, who was raised in the Jewish faith, wantedContinue reading “Ben Lee avoids the wacky stuff”

JT invited to Whitehouse

By Allan Povah Newly crowned FNQOTY, Jonathan Thurston appears to have been invited to join the Trump administration in some undefined role. After last night’s FNQ all star game (above) in which JT dominated, an online storm erupted when POTUS Donald Trump tweeted about the little master. The tweet (below) appeared to be in theContinue reading “JT invited to Whitehouse”

I had a dream: Bernardi to form new party

SPECIAL REPORT: Emerson Bracewell in Canberra The Plain Dealer’s Canberra insider, Emerson Bracewell, has reported on his recent conversation with Senator Cory Bernardi (pictured) in which Mr Bernardi has indicated his intention to form a new political party.  “I’ve been good mates with Berns since the ‘Conservative Revolution’ days, ” declared Bracewell. “We’d often catchContinue reading “I had a dream: Bernardi to form new party”

‘El Chapo’ in big apple, ‘Big’ Tom angry bigly

By Paulo Zupp North Queensland-Mexico relations have reached a new low with the decision to extradite ‘El Chapo’ (Short-arse) Guzmán to the United States. The Office of the Director of Public Prosecutions had sought to have Guzmán stand trial in Mareeba to face charges of drug trafficking and extortion. Mareeba mayor, ‘Big’ Tom Gilmore wasContinue reading “‘El Chapo’ in big apple, ‘Big’ Tom angry bigly”