Shirts v Skins touch competition won by New Earth Creationists

By Destiny Givens Yesterday, the finals of the Sheridan Cup were played out at Barlow Park, with the Cairns Christian Coalition New Earth Creationists emerging victorious, with an 8-7 extra time victory against the Parents of the Children of Mother of Good Counsel. Margaret Court, captain and half-back for the winning team accepted the trophyContinue reading “Shirts v Skins touch competition won by New Earth Creationists”

Inaugural Shirts v Skins Touch Football Comp announced

By Destiny Givens The annual Christians v Atheists touch football competition has been expanded and now will be held on the first weekend in August at Barlow Park. It includes extra teams, including a Seventh Day Adventist contingent (pictured above). The event, conducted in a shirts/skins format, was originally scheduled for this week, but hasContinue reading “Inaugural Shirts v Skins Touch Football Comp announced”

MayGregor at the TB Tavern

By Paolo Zupp Fight fans and ice-addicts alike descended on the Trinity Beach tavern today to see the cross-promotional brawl between Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor. The TB Tavern is the spiritual home for purveyors of the pugilistic arts in North Queensland, and the bout did not disappoint. Some 5000 locals turned out to fillContinue reading “MayGregor at the TB Tavern”

Welcome, Mary Jane?

By Paolo Zupp With the recent legalisation of medical marijuana usage, North Queensland pharmacists and other allied health service providers are struggling to find a way to provide their clients with the best possible care. Josh Brendixsen, a pharmacist at Amcal Chemist Smithfield, explained the obstacles. “We’ve been unable to source the prescribed medication fromContinue reading “Welcome, Mary Jane?”

June 2017 Classifieds

Looking For Love Semi-dedicated jihadist looking for sympathetic but modest woman for pre-virgin practice, short-term opportunity pre-boom. Hijabi preferred or Swedish. @moBoom  To the skate-babe wearing rags who boarded past the Dumpling Studio on Sheridan on Sunday evening. You’re cool and super-hot. Meet me at the TB skate park any arvo. I’ll show you myContinue reading “June 2017 Classifieds”

February 2017 Classifieds

Looking For Love Superintendent of Passion looking for IC5 Female in mid-twenties for false-arrest roleplay and outings, maybe more. Send picture of drivers licence and phone number to rr@police.gov.nq. Perky nursing Student, 21, looking for flabby diabetic man with high pain threshold, for wine, dance and injection practice. Must have own insulin. 0016625751. Thrice heartbrokenContinue reading “February 2017 Classifieds”

Industry expert opposes import of medical marijuana

By Allan Povah Mr Murray ‘Jane’ Simmonds (above), spokesman for the Mareeba Jay Keef Collective, the peak body for marijuana dealers in FNQ, has spoken out against the government’s plan to legalise the import of medicinal marijuana. “Those southern fuckers are fucking crazy,” he declared. “If some soccer-milf up here needs some lettuce cos theirContinue reading “Industry expert opposes import of medical marijuana”