Police investigate Real Estate scam

By Shirley Higgins Croft. Police are investigating a string of property scams that have fleeced North Queensland residents of hundreds of millions of dollars. Senior Sergeant Carolyn Burnham of the Real Estate Division of Cairns Police held a press conference today at Fratelli’s restaurant on Vasey Esplanade. “There have been seven documented cases of propertiesContinue reading “Police investigate Real Estate scam”

Sinkhole causes chaos at Trinity Beach

By Paolo Zupp A sinkhole has opened up overnight on Vasey Esplanade at Trinity Beach. The cause of the three-metre deep crater is unknown, but speculation is rife that no-hoper youths may be involved. The hazard, which is located slightly south of the stinger nets, is causing great inconvenience to strollers and dog-walkers who haveContinue reading “Sinkhole causes chaos at Trinity Beach”

Bus chaos at Trinity Beach

By Murray Murchison There was mayhem at Trinity Beach yesterday as poor scheduling combined with the start of the school holidays led to an unprecedented three vehicles in the bus depot slipway (pictured above). The trouble began when a Down-Under Tours coach was sandwiched by the two contra-direction Triple-One services, and was exacerbated by theContinue reading “Bus chaos at Trinity Beach”

Trinity Beach is brown

By Murray Murchison From the top of Earl Hill to the tip of Taylor’s point, the trees, leaves and nature-strips of normally verdant Trinity Beach are looking brown indeed. “Yep, she’s pretty fuckin’ brown,” opined local resident, Neville Fitzhardinge of Cayley Court. “Hasn’t been this brown since this time last year. But the wet isContinue reading “Trinity Beach is brown”

Schilling calls for secession

By Allan Povah Cairns Regional Council Divison 2 representative John ‘Two-Bob’ Schilling has called for Far North Queensland to secede from North Queensland. “It is increasing difficult to reconcile our cultural differences with those jokers in The Ville,” declared Schilling yesterday at a peanut-industry conference in Walkamin. “We’re all about the ‘fair go’ and theContinue reading “Schilling calls for secession”

City Council goes the biff

By Murray Murchison There were chaotic scenes at Cairns Council chambers today as Councillors and staffers reacted adversely to  what they view as an increasingly erratic policy agenda being pushed by Mayor Bob Manning. The trouble began in the monthly meeting of the Cultural Services Committee, in which a motion was passed to require allContinue reading “City Council goes the biff”

Explosive revelations from Karl

By Shirley Higgins-Croft Karl Stefanovic (pictured) has responded to mounting pressure to pass his learned eye over the controversial Plain Dealer limerick competition. The contest required budding poets to wedge the word ‘Mexico’ and ‘avocado’ into a five-line tome. The nominated winner, Mitchell Murchison, of Parramatta Park was awarded the first prize of a trip forContinue reading “Explosive revelations from Karl”

‘Two-Bob’ calls for Stefanovic to adjudicate limerick contest, rules out Royal Commission

By Shirley Higgins-Croft Cairns Regional Council Divison 2 representative and part-time poet, John ‘Two-Bob’ Schilling (pictured above), has weighed into the recent controversy associated with the recent Trinity Beach Plain Dealer’s limerick competition. Entrants were required to fit the words ‘Mexico’ and ‘avocado’ within the strict limerick format. Councillor Schilling has declared that he couldContinue reading “‘Two-Bob’ calls for Stefanovic to adjudicate limerick contest, rules out Royal Commission”