March 2021 Classifieds

Looking For Love A spry 83 year old gentleman and (recent) widower is looking for 20-something blonde cultured lady for youth rediscovery. No widgies. RSVP @harold_kuiper_38 Looking for experienced lover to induct a perky 24 year-old geriatric nurse into the ways of love. No one under 75 need apply. I can get a pump fromContinue reading “March 2021 Classifieds”

Police investigate Real Estate scam

By Shirley Higgins Croft. Police are investigating a string of property scams that have fleeced North Queensland residents of hundreds of millions of dollars. Senior Sergeant Carolyn Burnham of the Real Estate Division of Cairns Police held a press conference today at Fratelli’s restaurant on Vasey Esplanade. “There have been seven documented cases of propertiesContinue reading “Police investigate Real Estate scam”

Police in hot pursuit of Almond Tree murderer

By Allan Povah. Three beach almond trees have been poisoned at the southern end of Trinity Beach. Locals are furious that the 75 year old trees will be lost forever, survived only by memories and wood-chips. Fourteen members of Far North Queensland Police CID were investigating at the scene again today, taking soil samples andContinue reading “Police in hot pursuit of Almond Tree murderer”

L’Unicos apologises for ATOMS slur

By Paolo Zupp L’Unicos management have apologised profusely for an alleged snub arising from blackboard artwork (above) that was displayed outside the Trinity Beach restaurant yesterday. The slogan, intentionally or otherwise, clearly impugns the honesty of members of the Atherton Tablelands Organisation for Meteor Survivors (ATOMS). Ms Michelle Yeo, ATOMS Vice-President, Arms and Shoulders division,Continue reading “L’Unicos apologises for ATOMS slur”

L’Unicos apologises over Swiss diss

By Allan Povah In response to outrage from the local Swiss community, L’Unicos Trattoria in Trinity Beach has released a formal apology for the blackboard art that appeared outside the establishment last week (above). Spokesman for the Cairns Swiss Society, Gerd Meier, was strident in his criticism of the artwork. “We’re more than just financially-obsessedContinue reading “L’Unicos apologises over Swiss diss”

L’Unicos apologises for blackboard art

By Paolo Zupp Management at the popular Trinity Beach eatery, L’Unicos, has formally apologised for blackboard art that appeared outside the establishment last week. The six-word artistic statement (above) has offended the vocal and influential feminist organisation, Vasey Remedial Bitches (VRB), who have claimed that the message is an unambiguous slur on the group andContinue reading “L’Unicos apologises for blackboard art”

Blackboard artist apologises for cock drawing, blames Germans

Popular northern beaches blackboard artist, Jimmy “Chub” Locke has formally apologised for his artwork (above) which was displayed at the entrance to L’Unicos restaurant at Trinity Beach on Tuesday and Wednesday last week. Mr Locke, who made the front page of the Cairns Post with his classic works “Stressed is backwards Desserts” and “Not Pilates;Continue reading “Blackboard artist apologises for cock drawing, blames Germans”

A conversation with Lisbeth Trickett

Part of the Conversations Series, with Shirley Higgins-Croft Dame Lisbeth Trickett is the popular Minister for Defence and Animal Affairs. She was kind enough to spend an afternoon with me at Lunico’s Restaurant at Trinity Beach. SHC: Dame Trickett, thanks for agreeing to talk. Let’s start with the hot-button issue. Where do you stand onContinue reading “A conversation with Lisbeth Trickett”

Beyoncé wins second prize in Brent Tate portrait competition

By Shirley Higgins-Croft The results of the Plain Dealer portrait competition have been announced in a ceremony today at L’Unico convention centre. The competition, open to kids ten years and under, attracted more than seventy  thousand entries from 56 countries. Their brief was to produce a portrait of NRL legend, Brent Tate, whose story of pain,Continue reading “Beyoncé wins second prize in Brent Tate portrait competition”

Blue Lagoon remake to be filmed on Trinity Beach

By Shirley Higgins-Croft Trinity Beach residents are excited by the news that a reboot of the 1980 classic film, Blue Lagoon, will be filmed at the southern end of the pretty tropical cove. The news came out during an after-party at Fusion wine-bar on Friday Night. Visionary director of World Safari and World Safari 6,Continue reading “Blue Lagoon remake to be filmed on Trinity Beach”