New graffiti talent emerges

By Paolo Zupp. Following the discovery of a suspected Banksy artwork in Trinity Beach over two years ago, there was some expectation that this would inspire local artists and lead to a revival of a time-honoured art-form. Until now this has not eventuated. But, this morning Trinity Beach residents were delighted to find a selectionContinue reading “New graffiti talent emerges”

The True Colours of Trinity

By Shirley Higgins-Croft. Nature put on a spectacular show at Trinity Beach today as a rainbow formed in the late afternoon sky above Earl Hill. In the picture above, taken from Roberts Road near Reed Road, it is clear that the rainbow stretched from Yorkeys Knob to Trinity Beach and passed high above Trinity Park.Continue reading “The True Colours of Trinity”

WBU Announces departmental shake-up

By Kimberley Schloss. The William Bligh University (above) has announced wide-ranging changes to several faculties in the areas of social science, politics and feline studies. A new Faculty of Intellectual Honesty and Guffism will be created and will subsume the existing departments of Whataboutism, Gender studies, Guff, Intersectional Studies and Cat Maintenance. The changes haveContinue reading “WBU Announces departmental shake-up”

Professor Christopher elected WBU Vice-Chancellor

By Murray Murchison. The media office at William Bligh University has released a statement today that Professor Christopher Crocodile has been elected as the new Vice Chancellor of the prestigious university. The announcement was something of a surprise as Emeritus Professor Aubrey Patterson had been expected to be appointed. In the lead-up to the appointment,Continue reading “Professor Christopher elected WBU Vice-Chancellor”

Murchison fails in sphere attempt, possible sombrero toggle outcome

By Paolo Zupp Melissa Murchison, 9, of Parramatta Park, has failed in her attempt to sculpt a perfect alfoil ball. Since her brother, Mitchell, achieved the feat in 2017, Melissa, along with thousands of other children, have been attempting to replicate it. None of them have met with success. Miss Murchison has been accused ofContinue reading “Murchison fails in sphere attempt, possible sombrero toggle outcome”

WBU release influencer’s feud-guide

By Shirley Higgins-Croft The William Bligh University Department of Comportment has released a graphical guide to current relationships amongst social media influencers. This initiative is aimed at keeping students informed on the status of feuds between high-profile twitterati and insta-tubers to assist them in their studies. “This kind of information is essential to all students,Continue reading “WBU release influencer’s feud-guide”

iSnake trial suspended

By Shirley Higgins-Croft. Top End Software has had to cancel release of its much anticipated snake detection program. The iSnake app, which uses infrared and ultraviolet nuclear magnetic resonance technology, was designed to detect and locate the presence of over 500 different snake species. It has been under late stage beta testing by members ofContinue reading “iSnake trial suspended”

Boomtime for North Queensland

The North Queensland government is croc-a-hoop with new figures that show economic growth is faster than Australia and all of the G7 nations. The annualised and seasonally adjusted GDP growth figures to January 2018 for North Queensland are 3.99%, well above Australia (2.3%) and the US (1.9%). “Sales of crocodile skins have been brisk andContinue reading “Boomtime for North Queensland”

Study shows sugar is good for you!

By Allan Povah A new William Bligh University study has shown that the consumption of sugar can have several positive effects, especially in the short term. In an interview with the Plain Dealer, author of the study, Dr Kellyanne Brody from the College of Healthcare Services, explained the scope and implications of the findings. “WeContinue reading “Study shows sugar is good for you!”

The iCroc on an iSpree, Amarok to be relocated

A special investigation by the Plain Dealer has revealed disturbing details about the activities of the controversial artificial crocodile which is under development at William Bligh University. Reporter Paulo Zupp went undercover at the university, posing as a listless, drug-addled journalism student and discovered that the croco-bot has systematically acquired interests in various far northContinue reading “The iCroc on an iSpree, Amarok to be relocated”